Proposing: The Art of Tricking people into loving you

Hello my friends! I'm so happy you decided to stop by today! Things are going great. Just great.

I'm definitely not losing my mind one word at a time as I try to string together an elaborate trap for unsuspecting book agents. NOPE. nothing suspicious here. And i'm fine.

What's that? You want proof?...I mean, if you insist, but I promise there's nothing crazy happening here.

Pay no attention to the caption. It lies.

So, as you can see, things are going swimmingly. I've been blissfully working on my proposal for the last couple of days and I just have to finish finding nice things to say about myself. After that, all I have to do it print it and set it under my Box-and-Stick trap and wait.

AWKWARD TRANSITION TO NEW TOPIC!

Do you ever wonder how other people perceive you in comparison to the way you perceive yourself? I'm not talking about wondering if the mcdonald cashier thinks you live on chicken nuggets when you order for your whole family but none of them are in the car. I'm talking about the people who know you and care about you and the way they see you.

Take my hubster for example. Here he is. Don't mind the crazy eyes. This is one of the only pic I have of him. He's shy.

When I think of Neil, I think of someone kind and generous. I think of the amazing way that he connects with the youth at our church because he's charismatic and understanding and an amazing listener. I have an honest-to-goodness hard time coming up with any negative attributes about him. Because I LOVE this guy.

That doesn't mean they aren't there. I'm sure if I asked him to come up with the flaws he sees in himself, he would have a mile-long list. But I think we all have a way of seeing ourselves through a foggy lense of flaws.

I know what you're thinking....DUH, Sarah? This isn't news to anyone.

Well....It's news to me.

I recently became aware of this phenomenon while Neil and I were watching New Girl together. If you haven't watched it, go want it. It's hilarious. We had just started the series and were just starting the 5th episode when I turned to Neil and announced "I think I'm nick miller."

Neil frowned. "Why would you think that?"

"Because I'm grumpy, and weird, and I don't have the greatest hygiene." It was obvious to me. Of course I'm nick. I love him at a character- who doesn't. But is he the most well-adjusted person? Not by a long shot. But hey, you can't control the characters the TV Gods make for you.

Neil's response was a quick, incredulous laugh. "Sarah. You are not Nick. You are 100% Jess."

Jess? Ray-of-sunshine-Jess? Awkward but lovable, Jess? I'm nothing like her? She's too likable. I honestly love her. I WISH I was like her. But come-on? We're nothing alike!...aside from the awkward rambling when I don't know what to say and the way I like to sing what i'm thinking to fill gaps in conversation, and GASP....could it be true? Could I be similar to the amazing Jessica Day?

See, when I compare myself to characters, I usually pick the one I dislike second least. I never pick the person I hate, but I usually find myself annoying and grumpy. I see myself in the worst light because I'm hyper critical. I should be a better mom. I should be a harder worker. I should post less spontaneous blogs. The list goes on.

But when Neil sees me...I'm Jessica Frickin' Day. ❤

Shortly after this conversation, I came across the following meme and I decided to put my theory to the test. I shared it with Neil and asked him to decide which potato he thought I was.

When Neil read through the options, he stated without a doubt that I was a potat. Cute little potat. With all it's boundless potential and binge watching glory.

"Really?" I asked. "I thought I was the potato chip." I mean honestly, nothing screams Sarah like chaotic evil trash.

Neil just laughed. "That's just what you think you are."

Anyway, I know this was a long one. Thanks for sticking around. Enjoy this scene between Everett and his AI, Zelda. Remember to wipe that fog when you're looking in the mirror.

I lifted my binoculars to Charlie’s window. An hour ago she had been sitting right there, close enough to see her breath fogging the glass. Now the window was empty and my nerves were shot. There was no way to tell what else was happening in that room. Zelda piped up again, this time her voice coming from the binoculars. “I know you’re probably too busy peeping through people’s windows to care, but I thought you ought to know that Lazlo Cristiani is headed down the hall.”

She was right, I lifted the tablet and Lazlo was standing outside Charlie’s door. I gulped my heart back down into my chest and reminded myself that he had done this daily. Each night he had come to her door. Each night he had raised his hand to knock. And each night he had dropped his hand and walked away.

“Let me know when something important happens, Zelda. I’m not too concerned with Lazlo pining over her door.” I harrumphed and returned to my binoculars.

“Ok…would you care to know if he actually knocked this time?”

“Nope.” It wouldn’t make a difference if he did. She wouldn’t open the door.

“How about if she opened the door?”

“She won’t.”

“But say he did. And then she did.”

“Zelda, I’m not interested in if-then games right now. I’m trying to focus.” I zoomed in on the window. There was a shadow falling across the floor.

“Ok, sir. But they’re headed down the hall now.”

“What?!” I dropped the binoculars into my lap and snatched up the tablet. Sure enough, Charlie was disappearing around the corner with Lazlo. Her hand was entwined with his. I could almost hear her mocking voice, like velvet whips. Jealous, Daniels? You wish.